ENVELOPE ADDRESSING

TITLES

Everyone has a title. In the case of such titles as, Mr., Mrs., Ms., and Dr., abbreviations
can and should be used. Use Mr., Mrs., Ms. accordingly. In the case of judges (Honorable),
the clergy (Reverend, Rabbi, etc.), political figures (Governor, Mayor, etc.), and those
in the military (Lieutenant, General, etc.), we strongly suggest using the full title but
abbreviations are also accepted for these (Sen. John Doe, Hon. John Doe, Prof. John Doe, and
Brig. Gen. John Doe). The word “and” should be spelled out unless you are using a calligraphy
script that contains a lovely flourished ampersand (&).

Married couples should be addressed as Mr. and Mrs. John Doe. Should the wife have
retained her single name after marriage or if she uses a hyphenated last name the address
should read *Mr. John Doe and Mrs. Jane Smith *or *Mr. John Doe and Mrs. Jane Smith-Doe.*

Use a comma before Sr. or Jr. as *Mr. John Doe, Jr. * Never use a comma before II, III.
The name should read *Mr. John Doe III*.

Always spell out Reverend and Honorable when preceded by “The” as in *The Reverend John Doe*
or *The Reverend Father John Doe*. Abbreviate Rev. and Hon. when used with a persons FULL
name as *Hon. John Doe.* Never use The Rev. Doe or Rev. Doe. Spell out Rabbi as in *Rabbi
David Mark Feldman*. The inside envelopes may be less formal by using *Father John* or
*Rabbi Feldman*.

When both husband and wife are identically degreed, use *Drs. John and Jane Doe* or
*The Doctors Doe*. In the case of a married couple and the wife is a doctor the title
should read *Dr. Jane Doe and Mr. John Doe*. If the husband is the doctor, the correct
title would be *Dr. and Mrs. John Doe*.

In a dual title, use *Reverend Dr. John Doe *or *Rev. Dr. John Doe* or *Rev. Dr. Doe*.
On the inside envelope, use only Reverend Doe, omitting the Dr. title.

A final word on Titles, if you are having an informal affair it is perfectly acceptable to
omit the titles all together and just use first names, such as *John and Jane Doe*.
This little tidbit of advice appeared in Martha Stewarts “Weddings” magazine so, depending
if Martha Stewart is your ‘cup-of-tea’ or not, it is entirely up to you which method you prefer.

UNMARRIED COUPLES LIVING TOGETHER

Unmarried couples, living together can be written as *Ms. Jane Doe and Mr. John Smith *on
one line. Or, the “and” may be omitted by placing the second name on a separate line.
The person with the closest relationship to the sender should appear first. If both
persons have an equal relationship to the sender the names should be placed alphabetically
by last name.

CHILDREN

The names of children may be omitted from the outside envelope if an inner envelope is used,
where you would list individual children’s names or add “and Family”. If no inner envelope
is being used, you can use the second line of the address on the outer envelope for children’s
names. Do not use “and Family” if an inner envelope is not being used.

It is not necessary to use titles for the children’s names and they may read *John, Jr. and
Jennifer Jones* on the second line. If titles are used for children, boys should be
addressed either as Mr. or Master, girls addressed as Miss (do not use a period after the
title of Miss, it is not an abbreviation).

Multiple sons may be addressed as Messrs. (*Messrs. Peter and Paul Doe*). Multiple
daughters may be addressed as Misses (*Misses Susan and Shelia Doe*).

Names of children should appear in the order of their ages, the oldest first. Children
of guests that are eighteen years of age or older should receive separately addressed
invitations.

SINGLES / WIDOWED

In the case of single females, a good rule of thumb is to use Miss for those under the age
of 18 and they have never been married. Use Ms. for those who are 18 or over or are divorced
or separated. Mrs. is used for those who are widowed, you may use their own first name or
their husbands first name name along with her married last name, but the best rule of thumb
is to try and use what the individual prefers to be called. In some circles it is preferable
for a widow to use her maiden name in place of her first name and then her married name as in
*Mrs. Smith Doe.* In the case of those who are divorced use their own first name, not the
former husband’s first name even though they retain their married last name, such as
*Mrs. Jane Doe* or *Ms. Jane Doe*.

You may wish to extend an invitation to a single guest to bring a guest of their own.
Whether you choose to or not is entirely up to you, but outside envelopes should not say
“and Guest”. This should be printed on the inside envelope. Should no inside envelope be
used, and you know that a particular single guest would like to bring someone, it is
advisable to take the time to find out the guest’s name.

INSIDE ENVELOPES

The guest name is placed in the center of the face side of the inner envelope. It
should be written as either “*Mr. and Mrs. Jones*” or “*Mr. and Mrs. Jones, Jack and Jill*”
(unlike the outer or mailing envelope which would be “Mr. and Mrs. Jack Jones”). It is also
acceptable to use family or first names on the inside envelopes in cases where the recipients
are close friends or family (i.e. *Uncle Bob and Aunt Alice, or Jennifer and Ken*.) Do
not include the address on the inner envelope. If you are inviting children, their names
should appear on the inner envelope only and in the order of their ages, the oldest first.
The way you write the guest’s name on the inner envelope generally indicates your preference
for the number of people in that guest’s party. If you want to invite the children, put their
names on the inner envelope. Do not write “and family” on the outer envelope. If your guests have children and their names are not on the inner envelope, it should be understood that they are not invited.
Regarding certain titles, such as members of the clergy or military ranks, see the above
“Titles” section on how to handle the inside envelope.

Singles

In the case of a single person where you are inviting them to bring a guest, the inside
envelope may say “*Mary Jane and Guest*” or “*Mary Jane and Escort*”. If you know the name
of the person’s guest, it is nicer to use that, it makes people feel more welcome to see
their name in print. Two single persons that reside together should be addressed *”James
Jones and Jane Smith” *or *”James and Jane”,* the person with the closest relationship to
the sender should appear first. If both persons have an equal relationship to the sender
the names should be placed alphabetically.

No Inside Envelope Used

If you are not using an inner envelope, the way you write the guest’s name on the outer
envelope generally indicates your preference for the number of people in that guest’s party.
For example, “*Mr. and Mrs. Jack Jones*” means husband and wife but no children. Do not
address the outer envelope as “Mr. and Mrs. Jack Jones and Family. If you are not using
an inner envelope, the outer envelope should include individual names. (i.e., “*Mr. and
Mrs. Jack Jones*” on the first line and “*Melanie and Michael Jones”* or “*Miss Melanie
and Mr. Michael Jones”* or *”Messrs. John and James Jones”* on the second.) their names
should appear in the order of their ages, the oldest first.

MAILING

WHEN TO MAIL

Four to six weeks _before the event_ (not the RSVP date) is the general rule for mailing
your invitations to ensure your guests receive their invitations and are able to respond
with sufficient time. If you have guests traveling from out of town or if a holiday falls
in between the mailing date and your event date, invitations should be mailed 6-8 weeks
prior. The RSVP date should be one or two weeks prior to when you must notify your caterer
of a head count.

Prior to shipping all of your invitations, consider putting a complete assembly together
and having it weighed and sized at the post office to determine proper postage. Do not
forget to place a stamp on the Response Card envelope before sealing the outer envelope.
Large size invitations require extra postage, as well as invitations being sent out of the
country. It is best to check with your postal service to determine the correct charges
before mailing. It is terribly frustrating and costly to have a beautifully addressed
invitation returned to you just because it did not have the correct postage.